danna – patron
* after some research, nothing said anything about male geishas having dannas, so that explains why Jaejoong doesn’t have one. The typical male geisha usually told stories at events or assisted in performances by playing instruments.
shamisen – three stringed instrument, looks a bit like a guitar
okiya – a geisha boarding house, a residence for geisha
He didn’t know what he wanted.
Jaejoong stared down at the cup of tea in front of him and held himself back from releasing a loud sigh. He could hear the chattering of the drunk men beside him, and he watched in disdain as one of the female geisha performed a dance in front of them.
It was ironic how he could not bring himself to fit in a world of beauty, luxury and glamour when he supposedly embodied it. Every single person that passed him on the street stared at him in awe, and he’d used that enchantment to get whatever he’d wanted.
It was at this stage, in which he was supposed to be content and happy, that he discovered that he was still lacking.
He didn’t feel complete.
“Jaejoong, why don’t you tell a story?” one of the geisha asked in their usual airy, feminine manner. She placed her hand delicately on his shoulder and pouted at him with her ruby red lips, “Please?”
He glanced at the men that were all eying them in curiosity. “Ah, what story would you like me to tell?” he asked, feigning interest. His eyes told another story as he glared at the younger girl, but the glare disappeared as soon as he faced the men once more.
“Anything!” Reina said with faked girlish delight. She inched closer to Jaejoong and held onto his arm, “Jaejoong is such a wonderful teacher, you know?”
One of the men eyed Reina suspiciously, “In what way?”
Reina blushed, “Not in an indecent way.” She beamed at the men, “Sometimes, I think Jaejoong is a woman! Do you know that he takes much longer to bathe and dress than I? He’s so meticulous with his appearance!”
Jaejoong laughed, but inside he was seething. He smiled at Reina, “How kind of you to take notice of those kinds of things. I only take long in order to ensure I look my best.”
“You look your best every night Jaejoong,” several of the men chorused, “It does not matter how long you take to get ready. The sight of you is more than enough to pay for the price of waiting for your presence.”
Reina laughed with Jaejoong and turned her eyes back to him, “So Jaejoong, will you tell us a story? Your speaking voice is as lovely as your singing one.”
“Would you like to hear a story about Reina?” Jaejoong asked, “Shall I tell you about the time a man –“
Reina latched onto his wrist with her sharp fingernails, but she forced a smile at him while doing so. “Oh, I’m so tired. Jaejoong, would you please help me outside to the corridor?”
One of the men quickly offered to do so, but Jaejoong shook his head. “She’s like my little sister, I shall take care of her,” he said with a smile as he stood up and led Reina away from the gathering.
As soon as the door between the room and the corridor had slid shut, Reina’s beautiful face immediately contorted into one of irritancy.
“What is wrong with you?” she hissed. “Do you always need to speak such things? Mother sent you here with me so that you could help me become more popular! Just because your career is –“
“My career is more remarkable than yours shall ever be,” Jaejoong said calmly as he stared her straight in the eye. “If you don’t learn to respect others, and if you don’t learn your place, then I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up a poor man’s wife.”
“How dare you –“
“Control yourself, you’ll get wrinkles,” Jaejoong added indifferently as he raked his eyes over her body. “You wouldn’t want to look old when you’ve only just debuted, now would you?”
Reina narrowed her eyes. “I’ll find someone else to guide me.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Jaejoong replied airily, “Although I wouldn’t be quite so sure if that person will be able to get you into such a fancy place such as this. If you want to get by Reina, then I suggest you learn respect.”
The door to the room slid open, and a man smiled drunkenly at the two of them. He reached out, and as Reina moved to go closer to him, the man took hold of Jaejoong’s wrist.
“Beautiful Jaejoong, come back inside,” he slurred, and Jaejoong smiled politely at him before nodding.
“Of course.” He spared one glance at Reina, “So, will you be joining me or shall you be looking for another person to guide you?”
Reina kept her gaze onto the floor, “I won’t be leaving.”
“I see.” Jaejoong eyed her for a few more seconds before he turned away, “Make sure to behave yourself then.” He strode back into the room, and his presence was welcomed by the men once more.
It was his life to entertain, to captivate, to charm.
He hardly knew anything else.
The maid scurried into his room and nudged him awake. Jaejoong rolled over to his side and eyed the young girl with irritated eyes. “What is it?” he drawled sleepily, “I was under the impression that I wouldn’t be needed until the afternoon.”o-o-o
“It is the afternoon,” the girl spoke softly.
Jaejoong sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Where’s breakfast?” he questioned.
“I’ll get it. It’s outside.” The young girl scampered away and quickly returned into the room with hasty footsteps. She laid the food down onto the nearby table and bowed her head down low.
Jaejoong moved over to the table and glanced at her. “Is there anything else?” he asked as he reached for the jug of water. “You’re still in my room, so I presume that there’s more to your message.”
“Mother said that she wanted to meet you.” The girl said quietly, “Apparently Reina has been complaining about you again.”
“When does Reina ever stop complaining?” Jaejoong muttered, and he noticed the smile quirking at the corners of the young girl’s lips. He smiled at her kindly and moved one of the plates closer to her. “Are you hungry?”
“I - I’m not allowed.”
“To eat?” Jaejoong asked as he set the plate down in front of the girl. He picked up his chopsticks and handed them to her, “No wonder you’re so skinny.”
“Mother will get mad –“
“What mother doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Jaejoong spoke encouragingly. “How do you expect to become a beautiful geisha if you look like a twig that’ll get blown away by the wind?”
“I might get caught by a handsome young man.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Behavior like that won’t get you anywhere,” he chastised, although it was obvious that he was amused. “Now come on, eat. I’m sure you haven’t eaten anything great in the days that you’ve been with the okiya.”
“Thank you.” The girl quickly began to eat, and Jaejoong took small sips of his water as he watched her. As soon as she was done, she bowed deeply and handed him back his things. “Thank you.”
“Do you want to be a geisha?” Jaejoong questioned as he began to eat. “Or have you simply been sold into the okiya because of your parents?” he asked directly, not bothering to sugarcoat his words.
“I want to be a geisha,” the girl spoke softly.
“I see.” Jaejoong didn’t bother to finish all of his food and stood up. He glanced at the girl, “Are you still hungry? Feel free to eat before you bring the plates down.”
The girl inched closer to the table, and Jaejoong sighed, “I won’t bite.” He pushed the girl slightly towards the table, and he looked at her closely, his eyes examining her young features.
“What is your name?”
“Well then, I suppose you and I shall learn to get along,” Jaejoong said with a gentle pat on the girl’s back. “As long as you are obedient and don’t speak stupidly, then things will go smoothly.”
It was just another night, and it was just another party.o-o-o
Jaejoong’s hands were folded on his lap, and he paid little attention to another male geisha that was sharing a ridiculous story that he didn’t care about at all. He let out a noise of annoyance as someone brushed past him, and he didn’t hesitate to glare at the young girl.
She bowed profusely and quickly followed a businessman out of the room in order to show to where the bathroom was. Jaejoong rolled his eyes at her behavior and quickly poured more sake for a man who had run out.
The man bowed his head as thanks, and Jaejoong flashed him a polite smile. He was about to say something when the door to the banquet room slid open, and a group of people came in. Jaejoong glanced in the direction of the newcomers, and he noticed that one of them was looking at him intently.
The man flashed him a brilliant smile, and Jaejoong blinked as the man came closer to him and sat down.
“Ah, so you’ve decided to keep Jaejoong’s company?” one of the oldest men in the room questioned as he lifted his cup of sake. “You’ve made a good choice Yunho! He’s quite beautiful, isn’t he?”
The man named Yunho smiled at Jaejoong when he replied, “Yes he is.”
Jaejoong held back his look of annoyance and instead poured some sake for the man. As soon as he’d finished, he withdrew and turned his attention elsewhere.
“Aren’t you supposed to tell me a story?”
Jaejoong glanced at the man. “What would you like to hear?” he questioned. He hadn’t told a story in months, and although it was expected of a person of his occupation to entertain with stories, most people were contented to just stare.
“Anything,” the taller man said with an amused smile. “I’m Jung Yunho.” He took a small sip of his drink, and Jaejoong wished that someone would go over and take the man’s attention off of him.
He glanced at Reina, who was playing the shamisen, and he looked around but all the other entertainers in the room were completely occupied. Jaejoong glanced back at the man in front of him and smiled in his most charming fashion.
“Would you like more sake?”
Perhaps he could get the other man drunk, so that he could avoid –
“No thank you.”
“I…” Jaejoong faltered. There was no way he could leave the party abruptly, or else he was sure that Mother would add another debt to his list. He was there in order to keep a watchful eye over Reina – if he were to leave, then she would have to leave as well.
He forced a smile, “I feel faint.”
A warm hand reached over to press against his forehead, and Jaejoong flinched. Yunho quickly retracted his hand and bowed apologetically, “I’m sorry, am I not allowed to touch you?”
“You…you just caught me off guard,” Jaejoong stuttered, as he fixed the collar of his kimono. He bit his lip and glanced at Yunho, “I do not think I have seen you before, are you new to the area?”
“In a way,” Yunho said, his ever present smile still on his lips. “I am only here tonight because I was invited by a dear friend of mine.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you entertain often?” Yunho questioned as he brought his cup of sake to his lips.
Jaejoong nodded, “Every night.”
“So if I come here tomorrow, will I see you again?”
“If I come here tomorrow, will I see you again?” Yunho repeated. “If I come back to this teahouse, will you be here?”
“I…I don’t know,” Jaejoong answered, “It depends on who books me for the night and for how long. I usually have several engagements throughout a night, so –“
“I’ll book you then,” Yunho said easily, as though it would not cost him quite a bit to book Jaejoong for one. “I’ll talk to my friend, and I’ll make sure your okiya knows where to send you tomorrow night.”
“Are you –“
Yunho stood up and bowed to Jaejoong. “I look forward to your company tomorrow night,” he murmured with a smile before he turned away and left the room, leaving Jaejoong to wonder about what his motives were.
“So, why does it seem like you have a little sister?” Yunho questioned as Jaejoong poured him a cup of sake. o-o-o
Jaejoong glanced in the direction of Reina before he turned his eyes back to Yunho so that he could answer him. “I’m the most famous in the okiya,” he began, and Yunho chuckled in response. “And her older sister just left one day.”
“Ah, I see.” Yunho raised his cup to his lips, “How old are you?”
“It’s a secret,” Jaejoong answered mechanically as he arranged the bottles in front of him, “I don’t wish to tell. You might not look at me in a favorable light if you found out.”
“Wouldn’t you prefer to be compared to wine?” Yunho suggested as he inched closer to Jaejoong, “You would grow even finer with age.” He finished with a smile before he took a sip of his drink.
“If I get older, then my beauty will fade,” Jaejoong answered bluntly. “I will then be of no use to anyone.” He looked away and glanced at Reina, “What will I do then?”
“You have no desire to get married and start a family?”
“Do you?” Jaejoong asked, turning the question to Yunho in the hopes that the other man would stop asking him such personal things. He forced a smile and poured more sake into Yunho’s cup, “Surely a handsome man like you must attract the best of potential wives.”
Yunho laughed, “I have no interest in getting married.”
“Why?” Jaejoong blurted out, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Surely, a rich man with good looks has things expected of him?”
“My parents are dead, and my fortune is my own,” Yunho answered. “I am lucky enough to be the sole person making relevant expectations for myself.” He reached out and gently tucked back a strand of Jaejoong’s hair, “Why would I need to be married? I am happy like this, happy with you.”
Jaejoong stiffened, “This is only my fifth night spent with you.” He pulled away from Yunho’s touch and eyed him warily, “Well, there are many pretty geisha out there that would be glad to have you as their danna.”
“I only want you Jaejoong,” Yunho said with a smile as he held out his cup so that Jaejoong could pour more sake for him. “Beautiful Jaejoong with a complex personality.”
“Complex?” Jaejoong snorted, “I am easy enough to understand. I like what I like, and I hate everything else.”
Yunho laughed loudly, “Why is it that everything you do and say pleases me?”
Jaejoong glanced at Yunho’s empty cup of sake, “I think it is because you have drank too many cups of sake.” He raised his eyes to look up at Yunho, and the man was smiling at him fondly.
“Maybe…or maybe it’s something else?” Yunho mused quietly, so that only the two of them could hear his words. “What do you think of that Jaejoong?”
“As long as you continue to see me in a favorable light, I will be happy,” Jaejoong answered stoically as he desperately wished for the conversation to turn elsewhere. He was saved because a few of the geisha were asked to dance.
The lights dimmed, and Jaejoong moved away from Yunho.
Feelings were complicated, and he did not want to complicate his life. Although it was mundane, and although he felt restless, he preferred living in safety as compared to enduring the struggles brought about by dealing with others.
He didn’t mind being alone.
“Why aren’t you going to school yet?” Jaejoong asked as he watched Chiharu fix the things in his room at a steady pace. He leaned against the window and his eyes followed her movement. “How old are you?”o-o-o
“I’m twelve,” Chiharu answered as she placed away sake bottles. “Mother says that I am not yet ready for school.”
“I think you’re ready,” Jaejoong replied as he stretched his limbs out. He folded his legs and sighed, “I used to have a sister.”
Chiharu glanced back at him, “What happened?”
“My family died – there was some sort of accident. It’s hard for me to remember the details of it all,” Jaejoong answered with a dismissive wave of his hand. “My parents had no relatives, so I was sent to my mother’s closest friend who happened to be in Korea at the time.”
“You’re not from here?” Chiharu asked. “No wonder you look different.”
Jaejoong smiled, “Well, I suppose that’s why I’m popular, isn’t it?” He sat up and walked over to where Chiharu was. She glanced back at him, and he told her to look forward. He reached for a comb and slowly ran it through her hair.
“What are you doing?”
“My room’s not going to get any cleaner if you’re running around leaving strands of hair everywhere,” Jaejoong answered as he began to braid the young girl’s hair in a brotherly fashion.
Chiharu leaned back against him slightly and made to move her head, but Jaejoong quickly scolded her. She looked forward against and folded her hands on her lap daintily. “Jaejoong, someone came looking for you this morning.”
Jaejoong frowned, “Who? If it was Reina, I’m glad you didn’t wake me –“
“No, it was a man.”
“What did he look like?” Jaejoong asked as he continued to braid the girl’s hair. “Was he fat? Was he skinny? Was he short? Was he tall?”
“He was tall, so much taller than me! I think he’d even be taller than you,” Chiharu answered. “He was quite handsome too. He had a small face and small eyes –“
“Ah, I think I know who you’re talking about,” Jaejoong muttered. “What did he want with me?”
“He wanted to know if you were awake.”
“What did you tell him?”
Chiharu glanced back at him, “I said you were sleeping.”
Jaejoong pushed her cheek so that she would look forward, “Why did he want to know if I was awake?” he questioned. “Did he say what he needed me for?”
“He…” Chiharu straightened up, “Are you done with my hair?”
Jaejoong huffed and pulled his hands away. He set them at his waist and glared at the young girl, “Yes, I’m done. I don’t see why you’re treating me like some hair stylist when everything you have is thanks to me.”
Chiharu giggled and ran out of the room. Jaejoong was about to yell for her to come back, but she came back quickly with a box in her hands. She set it down in front of him and knelt down.
“He said that this was for you. I had to hide it because he said it’s supposed to be a secret gift.”
Jaejoong glanced down at the box. “This is for me?”
There was no wrapping, so he pulled off the lid immediately. He pulled away at the wrapping paper and it wasn’t long before he caught sight of the midnight blue silk kimono inside the box.
He lifted up the clothing slowly, and Chiharu let out a delighted sound of awe.
“It looks expensive,” Jaejoong muttered. He glanced at Chiharu, “Did he say anything else about the gift?”
“He said that he wanted you to wear it when you meet him a week from now.”
Jaejoong shrugged and just as he was about to place the kimono back inside the box, he noticed a letter sitting at the bottom. “Chiharu, get the letter before I fold this back inside.”
As soon as he’d placed the kimono back inside the box, Chiharu gave him the letter.
Do you like my present? I am sorry, but I was suddenly called back to Korea. I shall call upon your services a week from now though, and I do hope you wear my present when we meet again.
Jaejoong folded the letter, and he noticed that Chiharu was trying to take a peek at the words written on the paper. He poked her side and stood up, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“I think that man likes you.”
“It’s nothing unusual,” Jaejoong muttered indifferently. “People like my looks and –“
“He wanted to say goodbye to you,” Chiharu revealed as she stood up and began to resume fixing things around Jaejoong’s room. “He even asked me if it would be inappropriate for me to wake you up so that he could say goodbye.”
“I told him that it would be a wrong move for him because I know how much you like sleeping.” The young girl stopped her duties for a moment and glanced at Jaejoong, who’d moved over to the window while she’d been speaking. “Do you like him?”
“No,” Jaejoong answered straightforwardly as he gazed out the window and at the overcast sky. “I don’t.”
He could feel the young girl’s eyes on him and he returned her gaze. “What?”
“He really seems to like you though,” Chiharu mumbled before she turned away and resumed cleaning the room.
Jaejoong sighed wistfully and sat down. “Sometimes that’s how the world goes Chiharu. The people you like won’t always like you as much as you like them,” he murmured, his heart clenching in his chest with remembrance.
He wished that he could just forget.
Despite his dislike towards Yunho, he obeyed the younger man’s wishes and wore the kimono anyway. Numerous people complimented him as he made his way through the room and tried to find Yunho.o-o-o
As he exited one room and was about to enter another, he felt a hand grip onto his elbow and gently jerk him back. Jaejoong glanced back, and Yunho smiled down at him kindly.
“Were you looking for me?”
“Of course I was looking for you. You’re paying for my time,” Jaejoong whispered back softly as people passed by them. They paid no heed to Yunho and Jaejoong, but Jaejoong still felt on edge.
Yunho merely smiled and began to lead Jaejoong away, “Come, let’s stay out in the gardens, it’s a beautiful night.” He let go of Jaejoong’s arm, and Jaejoong had to walk a bit faster in order to keep up with Yunho’s pace.
As soon as they reached the gardens, Jaejoong had to agree with Yunho – it was a beautiful night. Everything was bathed in the soft lighting of the lanterns and the moon, and everything seemed to glow with an almost otherworldly beauty.
Yunho leaned close to Jaejoong. “Did you miss me?” he whispered, his breath sending chills up Jaejoong’s spine.
Jaejoong turned his head and glanced at Yunho, “As much as I miss any customer,” he murmured in reply before he turned his head in the opposite direction and looked away from Yunho. He stared at a willow tree for a few seconds before he glanced back at Yunho, only to catch the other man staring at him intently.
“How long have we known each other?” Yunho asked as he slowly began to walk in a different direction, prompting Jaejoong to go and follow him.
Jaejoong thought for a few seconds, “I would say four months. Why?”
“Can a lot change in four months?”
“Flowers bloom and die in four months.” Jaejoong answered as soon as Yunho stopped walking and turned to face him. He tilted his head to the side and studied Yunho for any sort of reaction. “Are you sure you don’t want to –“
Jaejoong paused as soon as he noticed that they were not alone in the garden. He caught sight of a man walking with a woman at his side, and as soon as the couple neared, his heart clenched tightly in his chest.
Their eyes locked for a few seconds, and Koichi turned his eyes away immediately as soon as the woman he was with – no doubt his wife – turned her face to his in order to whisper something to him.
Jaejoong stood still as they walked past, and his heart constricted tightly in his chest until their voices floated away. Although the pain was somehow less than it was before, it didn’t take away that the hurt that was still there. He looked away from Yunho and stared up at the full moon in the dark sky.
He knew how much could differ in time, how hearts could get broken, how people got abandoned, and how people could change. His feelings were close to eruption, and Jaejoong clenched his fists tightly because he refused to look weak in front of Yunho.
He could never be weak ever again.
Jaejoong let out a soft sigh and glanced at Yunho. “Shall we return back inside the teahouse?” he suggested, putting in more effort and using a more persuasive tone that worked on most men. “It’s cold –“
Yunho shook his head and approached Jaejoong. They were only a few millimeters apart when he stopped, and he reached out to gently tuck back a strand of Jaejoong’s hair. He smiled softly, “People can change a lot, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” Jaejoong whispered, “but –“
“You know that I like you a lot, right?” Yunho asked as he pulled his hand away from Jaejoong and stared at him intently. “You must. I lavish gifts on you, I adore you, and I keep you by my side.”
“Don’t feel the same,” Yunho finished. He stepped away from Jaejoong and nodded in understanding. “It’s okay that you don’t like me at this moment in time…perhaps one day you will.”
Jaejoong was silent, and he felt like escaping. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything special,” Yunho answered. “I just have one thing to say to you.”
“What is it?”
“I’m not like him,” Yunho murmured before he brushed past Jaejoong and made his way back to the room he’d booked. Jaejoong watched him go, and as soon as Yunho had disappeared back inside, he turned his eyes to the moon for one last time.
Yunho always confused him, and it was only when he was in the solace of his own company that he could finally think in peace.
“Is something the matter?” Yunho asked, his fingers gently brushing against Jaejoong’s as he reached forward to get his cup. o-o-o
Jaejoong glanced up at him and asked directly. “How did you know?”
Yunho shrugged, “People speak. I’ve overheard from a few geisha that dislike you that you were supposed to retire some years ago and leave this city with your lover, but your lover abandoned you.”
“Did they –“
“No, all the stories mentioned a female lover.” Yunho murmured. He took a sip of the tea and leaned closer to Jaejoong, “Your eyes express everything in your soul. The moment you saw that couple, I knew.” He gently took hold of Jaejoong’s chin and forced him to meet his eyes. “You’ll be able to find love again, I know it.”
Jaejoong’s heart pounded in his chest, and he forced himself to gently pry Yunho’s hand away. He set his hands on his lap and glanced at Yunho, “It’s not worth looking for again.”
“You wouldn’t want to fall in love again?” Yunho laughed lightly, “You don’t want to experience the pull in your heart, the warmness of your soul, the –“
Jaejoong scoffed and ignored the tugging in his heart. He glanced at Yunho and replied, “You’re a romantic, so you think of everything in an idealist fashion –“
Before Jaejoong could finish his sentence, a geisha promptly knelt on Yunho’s other side and smiled politely at him. Jaejoong glanced at her and was about to comment on her rudeness for dropping in while they were speaking, but the girl spoke first.
She bowed to them both and when she straightened up, it was only then that Jaejoong took notice of her beautiful grey eyes. Her face was familiar, and as soon as she smiled, he recognized her for who she was.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” she spoke, her voice melodious and innocent. Her eyes flickered over to Yunho, and she smiled at him shyly. “One of the men in the room requested that I be your company for the night.”
“What is your name?” Yunho questioned, as he moved his tea cup closer so that she could pour more tea for him and would not have to reach across his lap to get the cup.
She lowered her eyes, and Jaejoong frowned in dislike – it was a common trick of geishas with unusual eyes, and as he suspected, she answered while fluttering her eyelashes at him in a supposedly innocent fashion.
He was disgusted.
“Her name’s Shiori,” he answered rudely as he glanced at her for any sort of reaction. She gave none, so he continued to speak, “She belongs to an okiya close to mine, and her older sister is Umeha.”
“I see.” Yunho smiled at her kindly, and Jaejoong rolled his eyes. He noticed Reina was looking in their direction, and he understood why – Reina and Shiori were competition and had debuted around the same time.
Jaejoong kept quiet, and he listened as Shiori began to entertain Yunho with information about her training and life, and he watched Yunho’s facial expressions carefully. The stories Shiori was telling were not new to him, but the fact that Yunho seemed entranced by her loveliness made him feel uneasy.
“Perhaps you should go get more tea,” Jaejoong said as he nearly shoved the empty tea pot at Shiori. Her smile remained plastered on her face, and she bowed before she left to get more tea.
Yunho shook his head in amusement. “My dear friend, are you jealous?”
Jaejoong glanced at Yunho. “I am not jealous,” he answered. “I only wish to tell you not to fall prey to the schemes of pretty girls.” He glanced at the door, “Shiori, with all her supposed innocence, knows what she is doing. She’s played the tricks and so many men before you, and –“
“I know what I’m doing,” Yunho interrupted. “I’m a smart man Jaejoong, and I know what’s real and isn’t.” He chuckled, “When it comes to women, I know what’s genuine and what isn’t. I have experience; you need not worry about me.”
Jaejoong was silent, and Yunho gently brushed his fingers against Jaejoong’s. He raised his eyes up off the ground, and Yunho smiled.
“I have less knowledge on men however, as you are the only that has ever caught my eye.”
Jaejoong was silent, and he once more ignored the butterflies in his stomach as he tried to hold Yunho’s gaze. He had nothing to say, and it was only thanks to Shiori that he was saved from replying.
The conversation resumed, and just as Jaejoong had decided to retire for the night, he heard Shiori mention something that caught his attention.
“You own an estate?” Shiori chattered, “Surely you shall celebrate your birthday in a great fashion? I would love to see such a grand event –“
“It is almost your birthday?” Jaejoong cut in. He studied Yunho carefully, and Yunho nodded. “I…I didn’t know.”
“If you are to request upon my service on that special day, I’m sure my older sister and I would love to perform for you,” Shiori continued, and Jaejoong rolled his eyes at her sneaked in advertisement of her services.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do just yet,” Yunho said with a smile. “If I do decide to have it as a grand event, I shall be sure to consider inviting you and your older sister to the party.”
“Thank you,” Shiori murmured before she bowed low. Her older sister signaled her across the room, and she politely said goodbye before she left the two men alone once more.
Jaejoong inched closer to Yunho, and Yunho smiled. “Would you attend my birthday if I were to ask you to come?”
“I would,” Jaejoong said softly. “Provided that you paid for my services and –“ he stopped speaking, and he noticed how seriously Yunho was staring at him. Jaejoong straightened up. “I would go because…”
“You are a friend,” Jaejoong answered straightforwardly before he turned his eyes and poured more tea for Yunho. “Although I do not feel as strongly as you do for me, I cherish the time we spend together, and I respect you. You’ve done so much for me.”
A smile crossed Yunho’s lips, “Would you say that again, except this time, looking directly at me?”
“It is a small request.”
Jaejoong raised his eyes and he stared directly into Yunho’s warm brown eyes. His heart fluttered in his chest from the way Yunho was staring at him, and he clenched the teapot tightly.
“I don’t know what to say anymore,” Jaejoong whispered.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Yunho replied as he took the teapot out of Jaejoong’s hands and set it back down. “Your eyes have said enough.”
Jaejoong bit his lip and looked away. “What did you see?” he asked, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. What had Yunho seen? Had he seen the feelings he was trying so hard to stow away? Had the seen the jealousy that had flittered throughout him during Shiori’s stay?
Had he seen how he’d stolen more of his heart than Koichi ever had?
“I’d rather keep it to myself,” Yunho answered mysteriously as he took sips of his tea and smiled. “I don’t want to be presumptuous. I’m hoping that whatever I saw, you will tell me one day in person.”
He spent almost every night in Yunho’s company, and Jaejoong found it harder and harder for him to restrain himself. Each time Yunho brushed past him, he found himself inclined to lean against him, and his own body was betraying him.o-o-o
Jaejoong stared at his hands and clenched them tightly. He could not risk another painful break up. He would have to restrain himself and hope that one day, Yunho would leave him alone.
“I have one thing to say to you at this moment,” Yunho murmured softly as he moved his head closer so that his breath ghosted warmly against Jaejoong’s face and sent the butterflies in the other man’s stomach aflutter.
“What is it?”
Yunho leaned in close and brushed his lips across Jaejoong’s cheek in a bold manner that had the latter blushing a deep shade of red. No one had seen the gesture, but the fact that Yunho had kissed his cheek in public was enough to unsettle Jaejoong’s usually composed persona.
“Have you noticed how much closer you’ve begun to sit next to me?” Yunho whispered into Jaejoong’s ear. “How you brush against me, and how you always seek me the moment you enter a room?”
“I don’t,” Jaejoong muttered weakly, his throat dry.
Yunho chuckled, “Time flies, don’t you think?” He tucked back a strand of Jaejoong’s hair again and smiled. “Sometimes, it takes a while before you realize you’re in love.”
“I’m not in love with you.”
“I’m in love with you though,” Yunho replied breezily before he unfolded his long legs and stood up. He left Jaejoong’s side and walked around the room to say goodbye before he departed for the night.
Jaejoong watched him go around the room, and it wasn’t long before Yunho returned back to his side. Yunho smiled. “Will you escort me outside?” he questioned, and Jaejoong instinctively nodded.
They exited the room together, and when they were walking through the path that led to the entrance of the teahouse, Jaejoong stopped. Yunho turned around immediately and faced him, “What’s wrong?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “I…” He met Yunho’s intense gaze and tilted his head. “Will I see you again?” he whispered, the words quiet and audible to only the two of them.
Yunho nodded, “I have an important party five days from now. I’ll be sure that you are there.” He reached forward and carded his fingers through Jaejoong’s hair. “I could kiss you right now,” he murmured wistfully. “You’ve never looked so radiant before.”
“I’m always radiant.”
“Proud, as usual,” Yunho murmured. “Though you are correct, you’re always radiant.” He smiled and it wasn’t long before he leaned down and pressed his lips against Jaejoong’s softly.
Yunho’s lips remained against Jaejoong’s, and it wasn’t much longer before he began seeking for more, his hands moving across Jaejoong’s body, and his tongue sweeping across Jaejoong’s lower lip. Jaejoong gripped onto Yunho tightly, his balance completely lost as Yunho deepened their kiss.
When Yunho pulled away, Jaejoong silently mourned their loss of contact before he melded his body against Yunho’s and sought his warmth once more. Their bodies fit against each other like pieces of a puzzle, and Jaejoong buried his face into the juncture between Yunho’s neck and shoulder.
Yunho chuckled and his hands moved across Jaejoong’s body in a comforting gesture as he pulled him closer. “Are you that reluctant to see me go?” he whispered as he pulled away and tilted Jaejoong’s chin upwards.
“No,” Jaejoong muttered in an indifferent manner as he took a step away and pretended like he hadn’t been so flirtatious. He glanced at Yunho. “Why do you look so happy?” he muttered, “I thought you were leaving.”
“I am, don’t worry.” Yunho leaned down and stole another kiss off Jaejoong’s compliant lips before he turned away, “I look forward to seeing you again.”
Jaejoong watched as Yunho left, and as soon as the other man was gone, he left the teahouse as well and headed to the closest shrine. Albeit the lateness, he continued onwards, and even though everything was closed, he remained persistent and headed to closest one.
He placed whatever money he had into the offering box, rang the bell, and bowed twice immediately. Jaejoong clapped his hands twice and reflected on his wish deeply before he bowed again and began to make his way back home.
It’d been a long time since he’d last made a wish, and it was the first time in a long time that he’d genuinely wanted something.
He wanted happiness with Yunho.
Jaejoong turned to his side, and as usual, he caught sight of Chiharu cleaning up his room. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and it was only when he caught sight of the calendar that he vaguely remembered that it was finally the day he would see Yunho again.o-o-o
“Ah, you’re awake.” Chiharu crawled over to him and poked his side. “The handsome man came over again and left you a present.”
Jaejoong sat up, “What is it?”
Chiharu took the box off a nearby table and placed it back in front of him. “I think it is a kimono again because he told me that you have to wear it tonight, since it is his birthday.”
“It is his what?” Jaejoong’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”
The young girl blinked. “You did not know? I thought he was your lover –“
Jaejoong clasped his hands over her mouth, “You are not to say that aloud,” he muttered with a fierce blush on his face. “I do not want anyone to know either. You should know that these kinds of relationships are not allowed.”
Chiharu nodded slowly, and he patted her head apologetically. She bit her lip and looked up at him. “You make me run all over town to send him messages though,” she muttered. “At least he gives me candy for delivering his replies. You never give me anything nice –“
She took off with a sprint, and Jaejoong quickly leapt at her. He grasped her tightly and began to tickle the young girl relentlessly. “You insolent little girl!” he scolded lightly as she squirmed and tried to get out of his grasp.
“When I am a famous geisha,” Chiharu broke off into a sharp peal of laughter, “I will find him, then he will become my danna, and one day we will get married –“
The young girl was unable to finish her sentence as Jaejoong intensified his tickling, and the only sound she was able to emit was laughter as he continued his relentless punishment.
It was a grand party, and Jaejoong was overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. The guests were all dressed finely and the backdrop was a stunning garden with twinkling lanterns and beautiful blossoms.o-o-o
After a remarkable dinner and a few performances by several geisha – and Jaejoong gleefully noted that Shiori was not one of them – the guests had all been led out to the garden to enjoy the scenery and fresh night air.
As usual, Jaejoong kept to himself and admired everything on his own. From a distance, he spotted Reina in her extravagant kimono, and he had to smirk at the sight of the men that flocked around her.
Arms quickly wrapped around his waist, and Jaejoong didn’t have to turn his head to know who was behind him. Yunho rested his chin on Jaejoong’s shoulder, “The fact that you’re always alone makes it much easier to approach you.”
Yunho kissed Jaejoong’s jaw before he pulled away in order to turn Jaejoong around to look at him. His eyes raked over Jaejoong’s body, and he smiled contentedly, “If it isn’t the present I will take joy in unwrapping.”
Jaejoong attempted to push Yunho away, but he was only pulled in closer. He set his palms on the hardness of Yunho’s chest and looked up at him, “In case you have forgotten, I have already given you a present.”
“You mean that package you gave me earlier?” Yunho shook his head and kissed Jaejoong’s forehead softly, “I don’t think that’s enough.” He smiled wolfishly, “Don’t you wish to please me tonight? It is my birthday.”
“I would be happy to sing you a song.”
Yunho tilted his head, “I would much rather hear you moaning my name.” he whispered flirtatiously. He dipped his head to capture Jaejoong’s lips, but the other man placed his hand over Yunho’s mouth.
“You’re an overeager man,” Jaejoong murmured as he stared up at Yunho’s eyes. “We have known each other for months, and you have somehow managed to lose all your respect and self-control.”
“I’ve denied all my desires for you, and now that I have you, I see no point in denying them any longer.” Yunho kissed Jaejoong softly. “Will you continue to deny me?” he asked sweetly, “I’ve waited months for you.”
“I’ve been waiting for you too,” Jaejoong murmured, a blush creeping across his cheeks as he continued to speak. “I’ve waited for this kind of happiness for a long time, and I have you to thank for providing it.”
He leaned upwards and pressed his lips against Yunho’s softly. “Will your guests not mind if I steal the celebrator for the rest of the evening?” he murmured, his eyes twinkling in amusement.
“It’ll be a private performance for my sole enjoyment,” Yunho replied in amusement. “Do not worry about anything, I am yours,” he murmured, the last of his sentence said in completely seriousness.
Jaejoong’s heart fluttered in his chest, “I am yours as well.” He murmured before he leaned up to kiss Yunho.
As Yunho led him to his bedroom, Jaejoong could feel a chill of anticipation run up his spine. His hand gripped a little tighter onto Yunho’s, and as soon as he was pulled inside the bedroom, his heart began to pound a little faster.
Yunho turned and Jaejoong immediately caught his lips in a searing kiss. He pulled the taller man closer by the fabric of his suit, and Yunho’s hands cupped his cheeks to bring him even nearer.
“I want to undress you,” Yunho murmured into Jaejoong’s skin as he left light butterfly kisses on Jaejoong’s neck. His hands roamed across the fabric, and Jaejoong let out a small whimper as his arousal pressed against Yunho’s own.
“You first,” Jaejoong whispered as he helped Yunho out of his suit. He pulled at the articles of clothing, but as soon as he was about to unclasp Yunho’s belt, the other man stopped him.
Jaejoong obeyed and he stood rigid. Yunho’s eyes were intense and deep even in the dark, and he watched Jaejoong with such lust that it sent even more blood rushing down south. Jaejoong shivered as soon as he felt Yunho’s hands upon him once more, softly caressing his body through fabric.
His hands pulled at the fabric, and Jaejoong bit his lip as Yunho did so while biting softly as the exposed skin of his neck. His entire body shivered in anticipation and pleasure, and as soon as the fabric fell open, revealing his pale body, he couldn’t help but grow even stiffer at the thought of what was to come.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Yunho walked around him, like a predator surveying its prey, and he blushed. Jaejoong looked at him with wanton, helpless eyes and bit his lip harder, “Yunho…” His hands reached to take hold of his erection, but Yunho swatted them away and knelt down in front of him.
“What? Yunho –“
Yunho licked at his cock, and Jaejoong moaned loudly. He struggled to remain standing and chose to grip at Yunho’s hair. Yunho’s mouth was on him, and Jaejoong moaned loudly as Yunho sucked harshly at his tip and was relentless in his motions. He gripped Yunho’s hair tightly and tried hard not to buck into the pleasurable warmness, but he could not control himself.
He was moaning and mewling so loudly that Yunho paused in his motions and glanced up at him, eyes twinkling with lust and amusement. His large hands held Jaejoong’s waist in place, “If the guests hadn’t noticed my absence, then I am sure they would have noticed now. Do you wish for them to come running in Jaejoong?”
Jaejoong blushed in the darkness, and Yunho grinned wolfishly before he pulled at the fabric of Jaejoong’s kimono. “What?” Jaejoong whispered as he watched Yunho lick his lips, swiping off the translucent evidence of Jaejoong’s arousal off his mouth.
“Lie down. I do not wish for you to fall.”
Jaejoong moved slowly, each movement causing him immense pain in pleasure, and as soon as he was lying flat on the futon, Yunho resumed his torture. Jaejoong gripped Yunho tightly as he felt teeth scrape against his sensitive skin, and he writhed in pleasure as Yunho sucked harder and faster.
He moaned loudly and unabashedly, and each time he did, he could feel that he spurred on Yunho further. He could feel the buildup of pressure, and it was not long before he came roughly into Yunho’s mouth.
Yunho licked away the last of Jaejoong’s release, and when he raised his head, he took in the sight of his pleased lover. Jaejoong bit his lip and smiled weakly at Yunho as he breathed softly, “You are unbearable.”
“To think, you are my first,” Yunho murmured as he stood up in order to pull off his clothes, proudly displaying his own erection. He knelt down, and he noticed Jaejoong staring at him. “What?”
“Will you fit?”
The simple question made Yunho stiffen, and he shook his head in amusement and disbelief. “The things you do to me,” he muttered before he knelt down and placed himself over Jaejoong.
His lover was still recovering, so Yunho took the time to explore the corners of Jaejoong’s body. His hands ran over Jaejoong’s smooth, pale skin, and he pushed the kimono off Jaejoong further until it was off him completely.
They kissed languidly, and Jaejoong felt himself begin to stir for more. Yunho’s own arousal pressed against his leg, and he raised it slightly in order to brush against it. Yunho moaned softly, and he eyed Jaejoong.
“Are you ready?” he whispered.
Jaejoong nodded, “May we get off the kimono –“
Yunho shook his head and pushed Jaejoong back down. He kissed Jaejoong softly and reached back to get a vial from his pants. Jaejoong sat up and was about to move the kimono away when Yunho glanced back at him.
“It’s going to get dirty,” Jaejoong insisted.
Yunho went back to Jaejoong and pushed him down. He buried his face into Jaejoong’s neck and bit at his skin roughly before licking at the bruised flesh. “Won’t you just pleasure me a little?” Yunho asked. “Indulge me in this little dream of mine.”
“You’re terrible.” Jaejoong moaned as Yunho’s hand tweaked at one of his nipples and began to move southward.
Yunho chuckled huskily and coated his fingers with the lubricant, “For each kimono of yours that I ruin, be sure that I will buy you an even costlier one in return.” He smiled at Jaejoong triumphantly and pushed one finger into the tight ring of muscle.
Jaejoong winced and tried to grasp onto whatever he could. His eyes fluttered shut in pain, and Yunho leaned up to kiss his closed eyelids. He bit his lip hard, and as Yunho began to move his finger, it was difficult for him to breathe.
“You’re tighter than I thought,” Yunho murmured as he slowly slid in another finger. Jaejoong’s hand clutched onto his back, and the other man’s nails dug into his tanned skin. “It’s okay,” he whispered reassuringly, “I love you Jaejoong.”
“It hurts.” Jaejoong whined softly as the pain slowly began to ebb away. He looked up at Yunho for comfort, and the other man kissed him gently. Jaejoong buried his face into Yunho’s shoulder as he felt his body surrender itself further to Yunho’s intrusion.
“I’m doing this only for you,” Jaejoong moaned as the pleasure began to seep through and replace the pain. “No one has touched me like this.” He hissed as Yunho inserted a third finger. His fingernails sunk in deeper into Yunho’s skin, “You’re my first.”
Yunho’s heart swelled and kissed Jaejoong again. “As you are mine, my love,” he whispered, “not a single other soul in the world has made me feel the way you do.”
Jaejoong relaxed into Yunho, and as Yunho pushed into him slowly, he let out a tiny groan of pain. He sank his nails into Yunho’s skin and exhaled as he felt himself try to accommodate the intrusion.
Yunho whispered words of comfort into his ear and as soon as the initial pain of his entrance subsided, Jaejoong opened his eyes. Beads of sweat rolled down Yunho’s forehead, and their eyes met.
“I’m okay,” Jaejoong murmured encouragingly before he moved his face upward and pressed his lips against Yunho’s. He licked at Yunho’s mole playfully and bent his leg as Yunho pushed in deeper. “I’m ready.”
Yunho kissed his forehead and pulled out before he thrust back in roughly. Jaejoong moaned, and Yunho continued to thrust into him. He could feel every single movement, and every single twitch, thrust, and movement rendered him useless. All he could do was brace himself and mewl appreciatively, his sounds of pleasure filling the room and drowning out Yunho’s own noises.
He felt so ridiculously wanton for being so loud, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as Yunho continued to make love to him. Jaejoong could feel Yunho’s cock moving in and out of him, and as he neared his climax he clung tighter onto Yunho.
“Don’t stop.” He moaned as Yunho angled a sharp thrust that made him dizzy with pleasure. “Please, don’t,” he pleaded as Yunho moved faster and thrust in deeper. He was completely lost in the pleasure, and when he came, Jaejoong was sure that he’d never felt anything before.
He covered their bodies with his release, and he whimpered as Yunho continued to thrust into him until he reached his own release. Jaejoong kissed Yunho, and the other man slowly pulled out of him.
Jaejoong whimpered at the loss of Yunho, and when the other man withdrew to fetch a piece of cloth, he looked down at his spread legs. He bit his lip at the sight of the translucent liquid that was splattered all over his pristine skin, covering his thighs and slipping out of his entrance.
He could feel himself harden slightly, and he bit his lip. Jaejoong glanced at his stained kimono and let out a displeased sigh. There was no way he could ask anyone from the okiya to clean it without raising any suspicion.
Jaejoong put his thoughts aside and raised his eyes to look at Yunho. His eyes raked over Yunho’s naked body appreciatively, but he felt too tired to bother asking Yunho for more. They would have more nights to come anyway.
Jaejoong moved the kimono aside and lied down on the futon, waiting for Yunho to come back to him. As soon as Yunho returned, he pulled the other man down to join him and pressed their bodies close together.
“I was supposed to clean you up,” Yunho murmured as he ran his hands through Jaejoong’s damp locks. “Now you’ve dirtied both of us further.”
“I know,” Jaejoong murmured contentedly as he snuggled closer to Yunho and buried his face into the other man’s chest. His eyes fluttered shut, and a feeling of contentment and bliss settled over the two of them.
It was an indescribable feeling of joy for him to be so close to Yunho, and he’d never felt more beautiful and loved in his entire life. Jaejoong opened his eyes and smiled at Yunho while the other man slept.
“I love you,” he whispered before he snuggled closer and fell asleep, happy to be in Yunho’s arms and in his heart.
For most of his life, he’d lived with a feeling of emptiness that could not be filled by compliments on his beauty and charm. Now, he felt different, he felt complete, and he felt more beautiful than ever had before.
He’d found the missing piece in his life.
He’d found Yunho.
Author’s Note: A prize for crazyaboutyou44, and a Valentine’s day present for everyone to enjoy. ^__^ I love you all, and thank you for all your support. This was supposed to be for Yunho’s birthday, but yeah, I got kinda, sorta, somewhat delayed. XD Also, I’m sorry for any historical/cultural inaccuracies and the like. Please forgive me. By the way, the title means “things you can’t see”. I think it’s quite relevant to the story, and I really do like the title a lot. ^__^ Also, I’ll do my best to update from this day onwards until Friday. ^__^ Please leave a comment if you enjoyed the story! ♥